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Thursday, November 5, 2009

Floating on Darvocet

Day three of boot camp was yesterday. I couldn't do the actual boot camp which focused on step and the Bosu ball (evil contraption) - my legs couldn't handle it. So instead I went to Ultra Sculpt which the trainer promised me would be just arms and abs. Sounded good at the time until that night when the soreness started and suddenly I no longer had full use of ANY of my muscles. My abs and arms had been my back up for what my legs couldn't do and now they were weak and useless to me as well. In the middle of the night my neck and shoulder seized up and I had to slowly and painfully get up from bed in search for the ibuprofen. Even getting up and down from the toilet requires feats of strength and groans of agony.

So this morning as I hobbled around my house, needing help from my husband to even get up from a chair, I decided that to survive the day at work I would have to endure medicine head. Out came the Darvocet and now I float at my desk. In less pain which is good but completely useless mentally as well.

I really am trying to keep a good attitude. I'm trying to tell myself that the first week back is the hardest and I'll feel better soon. But I think all the lactic acid has gone to my brain and today I don't feel peppy or upbeat. I feel tired and discouraged. I want to go back to easy running where I can stop when I feel tired and where only one or two muscles hurt rather than every muscle in my entire body. All I can do is just keep my eye on the end goal and not on where I'm at right now.

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