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Friday, June 26, 2015

Courage and time

This is one of the filing cabinets in my office. I've had those little sayings for many years and got them more for my students than myself but I happened to look at the combination the other day and thought - "Who are you kidding? This IS for me."

The top one says: "Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow'."
The bottom one says: "Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use."

So in combination with my 1/2 marathon sticker I think it's fitting (although I really don't want to train for a 1/2 marathon again - I'm glad I did the four I did but I'm sticking with shorter distances for the time being).

Wednesday was Zumba night - it was fun and only a bit awkward trying to learn the new songs. Thankfully, it's mostly the same moves and I can count the patterns well and know when she'll usually transition so it's not too hard to keep up. But I was a sweaty sweaty girl and had to watch my heart rate in a couple of spots. I'll be able to do these until the beginning of September and then my family schedule won't allow Wednesday nights anymore but I could catch the Saturday morning ones - it's just that I never want to rush out to anywhere on a Saturday morning.

But Thursday morning I woke up aching (from Zumba plus the weights experiment on Tuesday) so I switched my schedule around a bit to just walk on Thursday and do the next C2-10K run on Friday.

The top circle makes me happy!
Weight wise (since I'm doing even lower carbs this week): Wednesday I was up a few ounces. I don't get discouraged by that as I know weight fluctuates a lot and a few ounces is nothing to get upset by. It's just a little annoying since I would rather see DRAMATIC AND SUDDEN LOSS!! Which I know is unrealistic but try telling the other part of my brain to keep calm and carry on. But the high drama part of my brain was fed on Thursday morning when I was down about a pound bringing my total loss thus far to 10.4 lbs.

I have a silly goal in mind right now to be 12 lbs down by July 1st. I call it silly because it's all about my pride. The health insurance plan for my work requires that we do yearly assessments and then health coaching if there's issues (if you don't participate you pay higher rates). Since I weigh too much I always get the coaching (which is rather useless). So I did the online assessment back in March and put in my approximate weight (I was truthful). But I no longer weigh the March weight, this is the weight I'm trying to get back to with the 12 lb loss (yeah, I apparently ate a lot between March and June). So even though I knew I had probably gained weight since then I hadn't looked (ignorance and denial baby!) and at my first health coach call they asked if I was still at the same weight and I hedged - "uh more or less." July 1st is my Doctor's physical where he lists my official weight on their form so I don't want it to be higher than what I had listed in March. See - all pride and silliness.  Right now I feel pretty confident about losing another 1.6 lbs by the 1st. Of course this year's weight will be higher than last year's but that doesn't bother me as much as getting to my March assessment. Knowing that I'll be weighed in though is motivation so I'm kind of thinking about asking my Dr. to make me an early October check up (say 14 weeks later) where we see how far I've come.

For the more immediate future, I can stay on track through July 6th but then that following week will be my first real test of commitment as we're doing a quick trip down to the beach. I'll be eating out more and out of my overall routine. I always say I'm going to keep up with my exercising when I go on vacation somewhere but I never end up actually doing that. So there may be a slight hiccup that week but I'm determined not to let it derail me.

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