Three(ish) months ago I had my annual physical with my doctor (required by insurance but something that I would have done anyway). I talked about it here.
At that appointment I weighed in at 223, which was 14 pounds lighter than I had been a month earlier so while not thrilled with that weight I was happy with what I had achieved so far.
Because I lost weight so rapidly in those first couple of months I had really hoped to be in the 180's by the time I saw him again for an accountability appointment regarding my weight loss (my suggestion to schedule it). I didn't anticipate getting stuck in the low 200's for so long.
As I already posted, I had made it under 200 last week but with less exercise this week and a crappy diet I've crept up a pound or two again so today I weighed in at 202 something but they recorded 201 (they take off a pound or so for clothes/shoes). I did however, weigh myself in two different outfits this morning and picked the lighter skirt of the two... Vanity - ugh.
So in my head I'm like: "Crap! Still in the 200's. I'm a failure!!!"
My doctor is far more positive. He was like: "WOW! 22 pounds in 3 months that's fantastic!" Whatever BMI scale he uses puts me in the 29 range so I'm still out of the obese category which in the end is what I was aiming for. I'm really trying to keep my head in the same positive space that he's in but it's a struggle.
Because I'm really struggling with finding motivation right now. Not so much with exercise - even though this week I've been not as enthused about exercising and barely made it to my personal trainer session today - I'm not really worried about that, I'm just in a "everything is blah" hormonal place this week. I know myself well enough to not judge my whole future on how I feel in a bad hormonal place.
But I am back to mindless eating of crap and sugar and I know while I'm doing it that it's not accomplishing what I think it will accomplish but I can't make myself stop. It's probably also hormone related so I hope to snap out of it within the next few days.
It will be beautiful this weekend so I'm going to get some outdoor runs in - even if they turn into run/walks. And I have to decide if I'm going to do a costume for the 5k next weekend. Decisions, decisions...